Woahhhh

After tonight.. im feeling a little high school romantic-y feeling <3

Watching MTV's Awkward, makes me remember when life was easy and things could go with the flow.. now a days things are just so AWKWARD..

But after tonight and doing some light reading.. I have come to realize what i want in life.. I dont need friends, i dont need money or a big house.. I need family and memories..
What i want in my future is to have kids that have memories i didnt have.. I want to live in a small town, smaller than Ashland, like Prague or David City, or Malmo.. Why? Because i love the small town feeling, growing up in the "sticks" is something i love. Alex & I are both small town people who rather be on a farm than in the city.. I feel SO much more comfortable on a farm than driving around in some city.. being on a farm compared to a navy base.. theres not much difference in my comfortate level..
Growing up, i always dreamed of living out where my grandma does and having a farm.. having horses.. having everything. I wish my kids could grow up like they did, it was hard.. but they had a good life. a life that had memories, a life without tv and all the gadgets.. dont get me wrong, i love my phone, the computer, everything.. but some days.. i like the simple life..

where has the simple life gone??? I hope someday.. alex and i can find a small town that isnt gonna change because of bigger cities.. i dont mind having to drive over 30 mins to a big city.. oh well.. its worth it to me..

I want my kids to grow up safely, not having to worry about gangs, or guns or anything like that. the small town atsompher is great.. its easy going, everyone knows eveyone, everyone is ACTUALLY there for you when you need them & your there for them when they need you.. How how i wish sometimes i could of grown up in those days..

Shhh.. but sometimes i think i had a past life.. as much as i like the old days, its crazy to me to think how much i actually would give to go live a life a like that. oh well.. this is the life i've been given and im not going to let people ruin it for me.. who agrees? i know trevor and i do..

there is no more being negative going on here.. i need to be postive and happy for my baby. He needs to know that im here for him and life is going to be easy and free flowing for him when he gets older.. i wish this world wasnt so horrible these days.. why cant things go back to the way they were when i was a child?